Somebody that I used to know.

Late March 2002

I could hear his keys fumbling at the door and a laugh. The light from the hall flooded in, casting through my eyelids then a stunning brightness as he flipped the switch that flung me out of my light sleep. A boisterous man and practically teenage girl come in. She has blood ruuning from a gash in her belly. Shes wearing a crop top. They smell like pot and drunkness. (Its smell I grew up on, like the smell if leather makes me think of the belt. Yep) This was the start of Richards Mania where he did dangerous things and stole and pawned things. Bipolar Disorder can make you do strange things. (Mine was binge spending and hyperness) He had just sold his girlfriends jewellery and drank, smoked and probably snorted it away.

She's laughing. And looking to clean it up. I'm tired ;I get up off the sectional. Iain sleepily talks with both the men. and grab her hand and take her to the bathroom. Maybe they will chill faster if I get this wound taken cared of. I clean the wound with sterile alcohol. This wound needed stitches. They refused to go to a hospital, she got it bailing from the cops. I do my best with a steptic pencil and bandage it up. Richard was going to be pissed about the steptic pencil. I tossed it in the trash. Who knows if she had Hep or worse. We chat.

I find out Richard thought it would be comfortable for us all to sleep in the same living room. I gave her my pillow and used my bag as a pillow, iain did the same. 

This is how I met Sarah and Josh.

It's a different world being a homeless youth. First of all you can't get a job. Because you wear out your clothes and most of the time you smell. You start to not care. Your hair gets knotted. If your under 18; you avoid shelters, or they'll send you back to what you are running from. Jenn and mike had been squatting in a foreclosure eating tomato sauce and god knows what else they shoplifted. Got busted and fled bringing her to the bar where they drank and dashed.

I wanted to help her. She's not smart. So we brought them to the youth shelter for food, and a shower.. The YAC saved me from starving. We went and did our thing. Got them signed up for welfare and over time helped. 

June 17th 2002.

We hear knock on the door. Sarahs crying, their roommate kicked them out. We barely had any none homeless time but let them stay.

We start finding hyperdermic needles. Two months in. We ask them how its going finding a place and confront them. The next day I come home and find half of my clothes gone. Missing things. They robbed us.

She tried to get some other girl to beat me up when I confronted her. To this day she has not replaced the things she stole. Her excuse so we don't talk about it is that she miscarried in them.

September 2002. 

Sarah and Josh found a place around the corner. She got pregnant again. God. She started abusing chemicals. That baby did not live. They got this Pit Bull from their dealer that was really violent. Had parties. She over dosed, while she was in the hospital that dog killed two cats. I had to bury them. A drug dealer threatened to kill us if we reported anything. Their electricity got cut. They spent all their money on drugs. Josh rigged up the electric box and stole power. Nearly killed himself.

They got evicted after that we lost touch with them for a year after that until Josh swung by.

Satah was pregnant this time. Cleaned up after learning. She was almost 5 months in. We were happy they were clean. 

At 5 months Sarah lost her baby. Then it went to hell for them. She excused me of cheating with Josh. No way. Never. Nope.

They broke up.

Got back together Sarah and made Braiden. They broke up before he was born. Braidem does not know Josh. He's almost 10. 

She's cleaned up. But still smokes pot. She's a terrible driver. Sarah's husband hit her and Braiden. Sarah took him back. Her mom got CAS involved. She wants a character letter. Braiden is in foster care. But there's still someone I used to know in there. I haven't replied. We haven't talked for years. I don't know if it'd be best for Braiden. I don't know if she's a good mom. I don't know how to be a mom. 

Josh is clean. With 3 kids now. 7 elsewhere. We don't talk anymore. This information is factual. Except for the names.They've been changed.


God makes that call, that Judgement. I can't lie. 

All you can do is be the best. Try to help. I was raised without church. But I know there's got to be a god. I read the bible that man wrote.  It doesn't mesh with me. But the goodness that people can be inspired to do with it and the Quran makes me happy. I see Muslims volunteering in the community, running kitchens for the homeless. The salvation army and churches doing it too.


The things we do with our human interpretation in judging people and taking it to far. The violence, hate, war, death is the only thing that keeps me unorganized. I think even if I hit 90 I'll never see peace. Its disheartening.

Let he without sin cast the first stone. Do for him what you'd do for me. These are lessons I have memorized. People are capable of changing. There's always a silver lining.

As for the present

Today I started bleeding when using the restroom when pooping. The pain is not better. The fatigue hasn't improved. I'm worried and stressed. We fought tonight. But tomorrow's already here and there's a chance to grow from this. I don't know how. But it'll come to me.


Started a gofundme

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Vital Info


November 17, 2015

Click Here


February 4, 1984

Cancer Info


November 15, 2015

Stage 1

Grade 3


Starting off alone. Not having domain over my own body. Getting weaker. Being left in the dark by doctors

Don't take stuff or people for granted.

First Cancer was Endometrial Cancer -Very heavy bleeding -Abdominal pain -Fullness -Fatigue -Edema Sarcoma (2017) Growing lump on elbow pain tingling edema



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