I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night

So depression and anger has been my stages of choice. I keep it internalized mostly. I cry at the drop of the hat. I shout at my stuffed animal when I'm furious, snip at Iain ( I feel bad) but his denial sucks.

The worst part of this particular cancer is how many sets of hands go into you or speculums. No progress on the pain or possible infection. But getting used to hands in your business is something you need to get used to quick. Can't imagine how its for Anal folks.

So I have finished the last antibiotic. I don't know why they cannot treat the pain. Its torture. I'm sure this is nothing compared to the healing later. I'll know in a few weeks? Best not to cringe. But wtf. I'm going to call Dr.L tomorrow. Be persistent. If I wasn't I'd be dead. They'd shirked me off about my heavy heavy bleeding. I just kept going back. That's the sucky thing. So I'll keep calling and going back. 

My commitment to upkeep my beauty regime has failed. I used to never leave without makeup. That idea has been shot out of a cannon into outer space...with all the colouring and painting. Sitting back is how I sit. Not the position for art. So I'll have to keep to doodling on my tablet. I miss the smell of water colours. Having oil pastel on my hands. Soon.

My sister is now going through the motions of getting her health in order. Kitty is undiagnosed everything. She hasn't seen a doctor in a decade. She's agoraphobic. She has a Doctors appointment tomorrow. I'm happy she's taking that first step. She's bleeding like I did before my DX. Bad thing. But catching it quickly if she's facing this will save her.


Have a good day Warriors.


Thomas threw a punch at your cancer.
Carmen sent you a hug.
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Well, it won't be long now until surgery, but call this morning and yes, be pushy in a calm and non- threatening way: tough balance but it could be done. Every moment is long when in pain. You will know you feel better when you're back to your cosmetics. For me, it was getting back to my half hour daily cardio workout. I halted it for 3 months, and could have cared less.
Definitely speak up to your doc. The squeeky wheel gets the grease. :) don't worry about your make up sweetie. I know it's important to you, but just do what you're able. You are gorgeous. I'm sorry your pain is so bad. Surgery is coming soon, and some relief. :)
Marcia likes this comment
*soft paw* We are sorry to hear about Kitty - good for her, taking that brave first step. We hope she is going to be OK. Good for you too, for keeping on going back. It's a crying shame they make you do this, instead of of listening to you and helping with the pain :*)
Yes do talk to your doctor, I wish I could do something about the pain you are going through, sending a big virtual hug from Alberta !
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Vital Info


November 17, 2015

Click Here


February 4, 1984

Cancer Info


November 15, 2015

Stage 1

Grade 3




Starting off alone. Not having domain over my own body. Getting weaker. Being left in the dark by doctors

Don't take stuff or people for granted.


First Cancer was Endometrial Cancer -Very heavy bleeding -Abdominal pain -Fullness -Fatigue -Edema Sarcoma (2017) Growing lump on elbow pain tingling edema




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