Everybody Hurts - Sometimes..

Soooo... I'm depressed. Treatment has underscored my Depression. I'm depressed with 3 lines under it...I'm still in pain, big pathology appointment is on Tuesday and  I normally love writing but fuck...biggest thing I did was errands.

pre-existing or not - healing and getting around as a pedestrian are not activities you can multitask..

Sigh - so I wrote this because depression is the new meme?

Depression seems to be coming up a lot in my facebook feed recently. This rant is probably going to sound like every article out there about it. I feel like busting some of the stigma around mental health issues. The biggest cultural misconception about depression think of it as “feeling sad” and generally assume that depressed people just wander around “feeling sad” all the time and that there’s nothing more to it. Before we all start cueing up the rain clouds and popular imagery from Prozac commercials - To quote Shia Lebeouf "No no no no" -That’s not really fair to people who are feeling sad but aren’t depressed – like someone who’s lost a parent and is having a rough go of it – and it’s not fair to depressed people. 

Sadness is an emotion we all experience at some point in our lives, but with depression, it often occurs without context. We have mornings where the world simply feels crushing, and we can’t point to a specific cause, or our depression is underscored by some situational factor, like stress at work or social isolation. People who have depression can often feel anxious, worthless, alone. To avoid further isolation, we sometimes put on a front, acting cheerful for people so they won’t push us away.Sometimes we have good days, too. We spend a day in the sun with friends and we feel positive about life, or go on vacation for a few days and come back more refreshed. 

Laughing and joking are not mutually exclusive with depression. It’s not that depression is fun, but it is possible to have fun while also experiencing underlying depression. It’s also possible to fake fun, and sometimes it’s hard for people to tell the difference.The problem is that people see this and tend to assume we could have fun all the time, if we tried HARDER. They turn depression into a game of “this must be all in your head” instead of an actual physical and biochemical reality. We’re not making up depression for attention, contrary to popular belief – who would want attention that consists of people making fun of you or telling you to think yourself better?

We’re surrounded by people telling us to pep up and stop being lazy, and providing us with helpful tips. If you’ve ever struggled with depression, you’ve likely received well-meaning suggestions from your friends, family and even total strangers. They include meditation, crystals, colouring, going vegan (you can at least talk about being vegan at every opportunity - but I can't say bacon with out smiling) , prayer, self-help books, finding our happy place (how does one do that? - that's just a passive aggressive fuck off), exercising more, getting out and spending time with friends, and taking up a new hobby. Yes, some of those things help people manage their depression, but usually what they really need is counselling so that they can talk with a trained professional – an impartial third party with experience with mental health – and work out some of the underlying issues behind their depression. Therapists can help people to develop coping skills and resolve lingering issues, and many people are surprised to learn there are actually numerous approaches to therapy. If you don’t like your therapist, you can switch to one you get on with better, or one who uses a modality you prefer. Don’t like cognitive behavioural therapy? Hypnotherapy may be best for you, or maybe you’ll do better with classic talk therapy sessions. Perhaps going to a group therapy session is a way to connect with other people who share your experience and can offer support. A smart therapist can refer you to other options if he or she thinks you aren’t a good fit for each other.

Some depressed people also go on medication, which is the subject of a number of irritating myths. No, not everyone needs or benefits from taking medication. No, medication  doesn’t magically cure everything and cause people to begin leaping for joy straight away. Medication is also rarely used alone; it’s designed to help people get their depression under control so they can focus on developing a treatment plan, and, no, people don’t always take it for life. Many patients need to adjust their treatment regimens: it takes time and a variety of medications to find one that works. There is nothing weak about having to be on medication, either; sometimes, it’s the only way to save your life.

Recognising depression and doing something about it isn’t easy. It’s often a journey of years, and can involve support from doctors, family and friends who sense that something is wrong. It’s scary to go to a therapist and talk about what you’re experiencing, but it’s worth it; there is just something so unbelievably validating about knowing that you are not alone, that other people have experiences similar to yours, and that there is help available. It helps when you have people in your corner, like friends you feel safe with. 

Making a difference in the lives of depressed people begins with changing the way you even think about depression. Redefine what depression looks like, and think about how you can make the people around you more comfortable when it comes to talking about mental health. 

Reevaluate whether you really want to give out that helpful advice. No really, a healing crystal isn't going to do the job...

Tell people that you’re there for them when they reach out for help. It can be intimidating to talk openly about mental health issues, but you can change lives if you do.

 

Janelle38, Patricia like this post.
Jessica sent you a hug.
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Great reading! I'm sorry about your depression, and I am right there with ya. I think most of us on this site are, and it is normal. I agree-therapy is the best. I go to counseling bi weekly and it is very helpful. How are you healing? what are your next steps? How has Lain handled all of this?
He is started counselling. He nearly died 5 years ago.
As I sometimes tell people, sadness is worrying about being low on gas. Depression is running out of gas on the side of the road at midnight. And there is no "understanding" why. It just is. I was deeply depressed in my forties. Fortunately cognitive therapy and pharmaceutical science helped me to survive, and I had an understanding wife who stayed by me even though I gave her many reasons to abandon me. One of the blessings of our current situation is that I finally get to pay her back for staying with me. All the advice I can give is the same advice given by the old philosopher, "This too shall pass."
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November 17, 2015

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Canada

February 4, 1984

Cancer Info

Sarcoma

November 15, 2015

Stage 1

Grade 3

Hysterectomy

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Starting off alone. Not having domain over my own body. Getting weaker. Being left in the dark by doctors

Don't take stuff or people for granted.

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First Cancer was Endometrial Cancer -Very heavy bleeding -Abdominal pain -Fullness -Fatigue -Edema Sarcoma (2017) Growing lump on elbow pain tingling edema

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